When Susanne M. Alexander's husband brings her tea every morning, she might say, "Thank you, sweetheart." That was very thoughtful of you." Or kind. Or loving. Or another of the 56 words on the Character Quality Language list, one of the core features of the couple's new book, Pure Gold: Encouraging Character Qualities in Marriage.

Ms. Alexander and Craig A. Farnsworth, her husband of six years, believe that communicating positively can counteract the negativity that tends to creep into many marriages and often result in their dissolution.

Lest this sound like they're stuck in the honeymoon phase - not such a bad thing - the authors make it clear from page one that their philosophy is grounded in their work as marriage educators and in the wisdom culled from the world's various spiritual writings, including those of the Baha'i Faith, to which the couple belongs.

While other marital-advice books also offer sound advice, Pure Gold provides a detailed explanation of each character quality and how to incorporate it into everyday action. In keeping with Baha'i beliefs, the book also encourages spouses "to behave so conflict is not part of the culture of marriage," Alexander said in a recent phone interview from her home office in Cleveland, Ohio.

"General culture says if you fight fair, it's okay to fight," she explains. "The Baha'i Faith forbids conflict in relationships."

To prevent dissension and disunity, Ms. Alexander and Mr. Farnsworth encourage working out problems through consultation - a form of frank and loving discussion and decision-making using what they call Character Quality Language.

"Using the words on our list - which all are found in the Baha'i scriptures - along with other spiritual principles of marriage, couples can become and stay loving and unified," Ms. Alexander says. "The Baha'i writings are very strong and clear that men and women are mentally and spiritually equal, with neither dominating the other."

To that end, the couple's book urges husbands and wives to come to a mutual decision on an issue. "This might mean one of them has to defer to the other occasionally," Ms. Alexander says, "but he or she still must act as if the decision was made together and make sure not to undermine it."

Taking into account the inevitable differences of opinion in even the closer of unions, Ms. Alexander and Mr. Farnsworth recommend taking a break or praying together when the frustration level rises.